What is a Gold Digger?
A gold digger is someone who pursues and forms a relationship with someone else for the sole purpose of using or taking that person’s money and wealth. The gold digger doesn’t have an honest emotional or physical attraction to their partner; rather, their goal is to enter into a relationship in order to have access to the target’s wealth.
While anyone can be a gold digger, and the gender and age dynamic can vary, the stereotypical gold digger relationship is of a young woman who goes after an older, richer man. She either waits for the older man to die to inherit his wealth, files for divorce and tries to obtain money through legal proceedings, or will simply stay in the relationship and take advantage of it while providing as little in return as possible.
Signs of a Gold Digger
Gold diggers can take various different approaches to find and court their targets. However, there are some common signs that can indicate someone is in a relationship for financial gain.
They Only Appreciate Expensive Gifts
While your idea of a thoughtful gift might be a bouquet of flowers or an original poem, these things have no value to the gold digger. They only seem to be happy with gifts that have some significant monetary value.
Their Friends Are Gold Diggers
As the old saying goes, you can tell a lot about someone by the company they keep. If all of your partners’ friends only date or are married to rich, older partners, that is a good sign that they might be a gold digger.
They Are Immediately and Frequently Curious About Your Financial Situation
It is normal for people in a serious relationship or marriage to want to know the financial status of their partners. However, if someone questions you about how much you earn and what you have in the bank on the first or second date, it might be a red flag that you are out with a gold digger.
They Never Pay
Having the ability to pay for things is a nice benefit of being wealthy. It is natural to want to spend money on people you are attracted to and love. As with all things in healthy relationships, however, this is also a two-way street. If your partner never offers to pay for anything, they might be setting the stage for what your future with them will be like if you get more serious.
They Are Very Jealous
Since the gold digger’s main goal is to obtain your wealth, they will see any other friendships or relationships you may have as a threat to their objective. Pay attention to how they behave when you interact with someone else, particularly if they are the same sex as your partner.
They Manipulate Others with Their Sexuality
Gold diggers, by definition, aren’t looking to work, so they will use their charm, good looks, and sexual appeal to get what they want.
Obsessed with Status
Gold diggers want to be wealthy because it is a means to an end — their ultimate goal is to have, or at least be seen to have, a high-status position in society. Money, they believe, will help them achieve highly-sought status symbols like fame and power. They may have a special distaste for people who have a low status in society, like people experiencing homeless or service sector workers.
Ladder-Climber
A sure sign of a gold digger is if they have a string of exes who are progressively wealthier than the previous one. Gold diggers gain access to exclusive clubs and parties with a rich partner, which allows them to hunt for an even richer partner.
They are Out of Your League
If you feel that your partner is, for example, better looking than you and that they are out of your league, they may be in the relationship for something other than you or your looks. If you are significantly wealthier than them, there is a chance they are in the relationship to chase your wealth.
They Have a Sense of Entitlement
The gold digger believes that they don’t have to work for anything and are entitled to whatever they want. They don’t share a need to pitch in for the greater good of the relationship.
Dealing with a Gold Digger
If you believe that you are in a relationship with a gold digger, you will have to decide how to proceed. The best way to move forward may be to cut off the relationship. This can be hard, however, if you’ve fallen in love or there are other outstanding circumstances — if they are a co-parent to your children, for example — that would make it tough to sever all ties.
Try to confirm if your partner is indeed only in it for your money. How would they react, for example, if you suddenly lost all of your wealth? If you want openness and honesty in your relationship, you have a right to get answers to the questions that are bothering you.
Of course, it’s important to take into consideration the financial obligation to support your partner after ending the relationship in the eyes of the law. The settlement will depend on whether you two are married, if you have children, the existence of a prenuptial agreement, state laws, and your financial position.