How to Motivate Your Kids (Without Bribery!)

Want your child to eat their vegetables? Eat your vegetables. Get up and go for a walk together to show them that moving is fun. You’re the best role model your child can have. So start early. Kids begin to mimic their parents at a very young age. Resist the urge to bribe your child with food, toys, or other treats to cooperate. That teaches unhealthy habits.

Instead of bribing your child with video game or TV time (or anything where they’re just sitting), make active time together a reward. Go mini-golfing. Take a bike ride together. Or let your child plan a day full of active things they enjoy.

Why this works: Kids crave your attention -- especially if they have to share time with siblings. Never underestimate how much one-on-one attention means to your kids -- even your teen.

Making sweets or junk food a prize teaches your kids to use food to fix their feelings. That can set them up for an unhealthy relationship with food.  According to one study, adults who were rewarded and punished with food as kids were more likely to binge eat and diet.

Withholding treats because of misbehavior -- “No ice cream for you!” -- isn't good either. The forbidden food becomes more attractive.

Children need praise. If you want to motivate them, focus on their effort more than the end result. When your child shows you a picture they made, don't just say it's great. Praise them for how hard they worked on it. Note specific details.

If your child is trying to learn a new sport, talk about how proud you are that they're practicing kicks or running. Don’t focus on winning or losing a game.

When you're telling your child to do something or disciplining them, stay calm. Kids can learn how to manage their emotions by watching you. Be concise and clear.

1. Tell them what they've to do.
2. Tell them by when they need to do it.
3. Explain the consequences of not following through.
4. Stick to your agreement and don't allow negotiation.

If you’re trying to get your kids to move more, help them realize that exercise feels good!

Get moving together. After you two go on a bike ride or play tennis, talk about how you feel. It encourages your child to notice the same feeling themselves and that's a natural motivation to move. Ideally, your child should be active at least 60 minutes a day.

Still looking for a way to convince your kids it’s good to move? Buy inexpensive pedometers, or step counters, for the whole family. Start a family challenge: Mark everyone's daily steps on a chart you keep on the fridge.
 

You don't even need a reward for the weekly winner. Using the gadget itself, along with some friendly competition, can motivate your kids to move throughout the day.

No matter what habit you’re trying to instill, kids look up to other people. Use that to your advantage when you’re trying to get them to move more.

Go to the ballet. Take them to see a professional or semi-pro team play baseball. Or check out a high school soccer game. It might motivate them a lot more than anything you can say. Then go kick the ball or play catch with your child.

Want to encourage a picky eater to try new veggies? Choose one from the supermarket that neither of you have ever had before. Then go home and try a recipe that includes it.

Or give your older child or teen a selection of healthy ingredients, like on a cooking show. Let them decide how to turn them into dinner. If they've invested in how a new food or dish turns out, they’ll be more likely to try it.    

Instead of ordering your kids to do a chore, give them options. Ask if they want to do a task now or in a few minutes. Ask if they would prefer to take out the trash or empty the dishwasher.

Kids fight back when they feel like they have no control. Resisting you becomes a way of asserting themselves. Giving them some say will help motivate them.

Plus, giving them choices now teaches them how to make healthy choices later.